thus making me awesome and them whores
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
