so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
