better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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