I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
