I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize