I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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