Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
