who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have tasted many bathrooms
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
