Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
