WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
