if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize