Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
