tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
