Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
