next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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