We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
