Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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