I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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