she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
be right there i have to get my cape
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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