Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
