Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
