Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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