Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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