We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
