great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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