The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize