so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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