The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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