Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
im holly from the hills drunk
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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