He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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