Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
