Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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