Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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