been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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