Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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