I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
