Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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