After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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