We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
