We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
