I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
