so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
