The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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