Buhtt sex?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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