im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
