you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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