Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
