From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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