i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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