fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
