I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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