hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
