Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
