SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she pinky promised me she was 18
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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