..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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