i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
