i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
