He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize