You really coming over, don't trick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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