i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Boobs speak an international language.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
