Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
