I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
