its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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