She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
