Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You took a bar mat shot.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
